Do you love your job? That’s wonderful! I won’t be offended if you ignore the rest of this post, because I’ll be writing to those talented folks who need a job (or a new job). Here are the details:
SmartFurniture.com is looking for a new Internet Sales Specialist. We are a rapidly growing internet retailer and need someone who is a go-getter and wants to be part of a team, playing a vital role in our company’s growth and success. (That’s code for “we freaking rock and want another guitarist.”)
If you work in this position, you will be part of SmartFurniture.com’s voice to our national customer base. You will be part of a team whose goal is to provide each customer with the best experience anywhere – not just another transaction. (That’s code for “our good reputation will rest on how you take care of people.” No pressure.)
The person we’re looking for:
Is smart | Works hard | Is a team player | Communicates excellently | Takes initiative | Adapts well to change | Loves a challenge | Etc.
But we’re not looking for someone who:
Just wants to work 9 to 5 | Has a cutthroat mentality | Lacks kindness | Is dishonest | Is inflexible | Has difficulty with technology | Can’t take a joke
Here’s the key to the whole process: if you do not have a sense of humor, complain a lot, or feel that you are entitled to things, please do not apply. If you value camaraderie and want to be part of a team that cheers you on, please do apply.
Email a resume with a cover letter (the better the letter, the more we’ll like it) to email@example.com and we’ll check it out. For more details, here’s the entire job posting on our site.
We can’t wait to meet you, have a beer with you, and grow with you. I promise I won’t throw darts at your feet like I did to Natalie. And just look at how well we get along now!