My Five Year Old Spends Like a Drunken Sailor on the App Store

My darling son Cooper.

This is an actual message I sent to developers at Tiny Monsters this morning after seeing that we had hundreds of dollars of in app purchases on their game. The name of the game is actually Tiny Monsters, but I mistakenly refer to them as little monsters. My darling son, Cooper, is pictured along side this post.

Dear Little Monster People:
My wife allowed one of our children (there are a lot of them) to play one of her devices while at a doctor’s office over the last couple of days. My understanding is that the child in question our 5 year old son Cooper. He is genetic karma.

So, this little monster convinces his mommy to buy him a “scoop of coins” on two separate days from your in game purchase feature for “Little Monsters.” Being Cooper, he learns to quickly leverage her moment of weakness into an additional $49.99 without her looking. It appears he has taken 49.99 when 1.99 was intended on at least two occasions (and possibly more).

Now clearly, we have some culpability here as we are responsible for bringing this little monster into the world. But I would have a much better feeling about the world if you would reverse the two 49.99 charges. If you cannot do so, I would ask that you consider taking Cooper as your own to raise in lieu of refunding our money.