An Ode to the Donut

An Ode to the Donut


When the night has come

And the land is dark

And the moon is the only light we’ll see

No I won’t be afraid

Oh, I won’t be afraid

Just as long as you stand … stand by me

So begins the immortal song, “Stand By Me” by Ben E. King. A little known fact is that King wrote the song with his favorite food in mind … yes, you’ve guessed it. The cake donut was the inspiration for what may be the world’s most famous song. That’s a fact, folks. No, don’t look it up. Just trust me. I’d never make something like that up.

I’m here to proclaim the excellencies of the tastiest treat known to man. Yes, donuts are even tastier than cake and cookies – and in a totally different league than Snickers and candy corn (ew).

Cake or glazed, the donut holds a special place in the American consciousness. Ever since someone’s grandmother (she was probably Polish – they make ridiculously scrumptious, amazingly-bad-for-you pastries in Poland) figured out that she could make circle-shaped dessert bread, we’ve had a taste for the sinful circles. Their glazing is made of pure sugar, with a dash of awesome.

A bit of history that I’m definitely not making up: The reason Napoleon always had his hand in his jacket was because he was holding a donut and he didn’t want people to see that he was breaking his diet.

The other day, Natalie brought a box of the calorie-laden fat morsels into the office as a gift for the rest of us. While many of us were grateful and enjoyed the gift, I’m sad to say that there were some among us who turned up their noses at the donuts. It was a bitter pill for me to swallow; I’d thought we were all on the same team, striving for the same goals. Oh well. C’est la vie.

And speaking of French, did you know that in Canada there’s this rockin’ place called Tim Horton’s that sells donuts of all kinds, and chili in a bread bowl? Think about that for a minute. “Yes, I’d like my chili, but put it in a whole loaf of bread. Also, I need more calories, so give me three glazed fat rings.” That’s the kind of music I like to hear. My eyes are almost going out of focus just thinking about it.

Once, when I was in college, we got 24 Krispy Kremes at 4 in the morning. There were 3 of us, and we each finished off 8 donuts. I can still feel it if I try to run really fast – but do I regret it? No! That would be like going to Niagara Falls and wishing I hadn’t because I got some mist on my face. When you’re facing the thunderous tumult of the greatest waterfall in North America, mist on your face is hardly a problem.

So it is with the donut.

If the sky that we look upon

Should tumble and fall

All the mountains should crumble to the sea

I won’t cry, I won’t cry

No, I won’t shed a tear

Just as long as you stand, stand by me


Box Of Donuts

Mark Rico

I work under the official-sounding, completely made-up title of Marketing Content Specialist. That's simply because "Dude Who Writes Stuff" would make a lame title. Oh, and my co-workers don't let me make the Chewbacca noise in the office. For some reason it bothers them. But that's the first sound that comes to my mind when something deserves a reaction. I'll let you draw your own conclusions about me based on that.